16 going on 17, selfish & clueless

Author: Sheila
Baby Name: Sully
Birth Date: 03/1992
Abortion Date: 09/14/1991

To my baby boy who I’ve held in my heart and mind my whole life, I’ve spent the last 24 years of my life unable to forgive myself for life lost. I know GOD forgives me , but I cannot forgive me. I’m so very sorry if I could go back I’d make it right.
When I was 16 going on 17 I became pregnant , but didn’t really understand what that meant. It meant no longer being self serving by self sacrificing to my child and putting him above my interest. I was a mess and I thought I was in love with the father and so I put all I had emotionally into him and when he left me alone I became very emotionally distraught. Although, I did not physically go to an abortion clinic and terminate your life , when I made the choice to allow myself to become that upset and that distraught , I made the choice to put my feelings before your life and that was devastatingly wrong !! And I cannot forgive myself that. As a result of the emotional upset I suffered a spontaneous abortion in my 4th month of your life. To any and all who read this , listen to these words , if you murder your child I promise you , you will never ever forget it and it will always be missing piece of who you are. God made each of us with a plan , he never intended that plan to be terminated willfully. We are fearfully and wonderfully made, my baby boy would be 24 years old today. I took that from him, please don’t take that from your life. The life inside you is meant to be here, please let it be.