My Hope For Hannah
Author: Sandi Baby Name: Hannah Kathryn Birth Date: Feb. 1982 Abortion Date: July 1981
To my precious Hannah:
From the moment I knew your life had begun, I was filled with excitement. You gave me hope for a future; something I had never known before. Sadly, I listened to those around me; people who told me I had nothing to offer you; who said it often enough that I believed them. From the moment your life was taken from me, to this day, I have wondered about you: what you would have looked like; what it would have been like to hold you; to watch you do all those “firsts” that are so important; to see what you would do in life as you became an adult. My hope, dear Hannah, is that Jesus swept you up into His loving arms instantly, and that He has loved you, has looked after you, and has let you see my heart for you. Not the heart the world thinks I have because of this tragic decision I made 33 years ago, but the heart that hurts because there is an empty place in it that needed to be filled with you. My hope is that the day will come when I will see you face to face, and you will know the loving mother I so wanted to be to you. The mother who would have learned to love pink and purple and hair ribbons and dolls and tea parties and giggly girls at sleepovers….all things I didn’t see in my childhood either. My hope is that you can love me…
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Sep 15, 2014 @ 20:24:40
So beautiful…
Sep 15, 2014 @ 20:25:00
What’s your life like now ?
Sep 15, 2014 @ 21:59:20
Janell,
I was blessed to meet some wonderful women over this past year who understood my story and my loss, who have also experienced abortion in their past, and who had found hope and healing from their own emotional and spiritual wounds. Through them, I was able to attend a Rachel’s Vineyard Retreat last March for post-abortion recovery. It was a life-changing experience for which I will always be grateful. I had also become acquainted with a woman who had just published a Bible study last October for post-abortive women. It is called Worthy of Love: A Story of Hope and Healing Following Abortion, written by Shadia Hrichi. I went through the study on my own, and it was extremely helpful, as she had also experienced abortion as a teen. I have since become friends with Shadia, and am preparing to start a ministry to post-abortive women in my community using her Bible study. It almost seems as if God has given me this opportunity as a way of not only honoring His healing in my life, but also as a way of honoring the memory of my daughter. I am so blessed by all that God has done to bring peace into my life where my past abortion is concerned.
Bless you,
Sandi
Sep 15, 2014 @ 21:36:44
Beautiful.. .God’s grace is sufficient.
Sep 15, 2014 @ 22:15:43
Thank you, LouAnn! Yes, it is! Love you, my friend!
Sep 16, 2014 @ 07:46:41
Did you go on and have more children ?
Sep 16, 2014 @ 08:26:25
Yes, I have two sons.
Sep 16, 2014 @ 09:59:59
Do you feel there is another plan for Kathryn?
Sep 16, 2014 @ 18:38:35
I cannot truly know the mind of God where Hannah Kathryn is concerned. But I do know how much He loves me, even after the decision I made that cost me my daughter. If God can love me as much as He does, how much more then can He treasure and delight in my little innocent one?! Her purpose in my own life now is to spur me on in memory of her, to reach out to other women who have also made this decision, and are feeling the deep wounds and scars of their decision. Ultimately, I pray I am honoring God, but I also want the memory of Hannah to help me cling to the hope of seeing her in His presence one day.
Sep 16, 2014 @ 19:22:45
Thank you sandi, I had gotten my abortion in April and I’m still having a hard time coping with it.
Sep 17, 2014 @ 00:31:07
Janell, I would encourage you to try to connect with a church or life-affirming pregnancy resource center near you that provides post-abortion care and recovery ministry. I am so sorry that you are in this struggle, dear one, but I pray you won’t wait to seek the hope and healing that really is possible after abortion. I waited more than 30 years before seeking help, and wish I had done it right away.
May 08, 2016 @ 02:12:24
Loved what you wrote. My son Eric was aborted 41 years ago in April…..I always wanted you……
May 08, 2016 @ 03:18:16
Thank you, Kitty. It doesn’t seem to matter how many years have gone by….a piece of us has been missing since the moment their lives ended. Blessings!