The Love I’ll Never Get To Experience
Author: Jorden Birth Date: July 2012 Abortion Date: december 17, 2011
Thanksgiving weekend 2011,my then boyfriend and I found out I was pregnant. He was 17 and I had just turned 18 a few months before, neither of us were ready for a baby yet. We lived with his parents and little brother, with his parents supporting us. We were young and care free, definately not careful. It took us 3 weeks to even think about telling his mom and step-dad about the baby. We all 4 sat down and talked, they were willing to help us get on our feet so we could raise the baby, but my then boyfriend just wasn’t ready. We fought for about a week before I finally gave into the pressure he was putting on me to have the abortion. I knew that with my medical issues with my cervix and uterus that, that might be my only child, if I didn’t lose him or her, but I went through with the abortion. December 17, 2011 is by the one if the worst days of my life. As we got into my car to leave the clinic, he said, I thought this would make me feel better, but I only feel worse. The regret we both felt and still feel is the worst feeling. We are no longer together and the only time we talk is on December 17th. Until now, we have never spoken a word about my abortion to anyone except his mom and step-dad, for fear of how we would be judged and the looks we would receive from people that have known us our whole lives. Sometimes it’s hard because I want to talk about it but I’m alone in the situation because I have Noone who would listen to me talk. I am now married, have a handsome little boy, and an angel baby girl that I lost at 28 weeks, but not a day goes by that I do not think about what if and wonder whether we would have had a boy or girl, and what he/she would be and look like! This December was 3 years, and it hasn’t gotten any easier! This is the ultrasound picture the clinic gave me when they did the US to see how far I was! I still have it, it’s put away in a box, in my dresser drawer because I can’t show anyone but u take it out and look at it from time to time.