I’m sorry I wasn’t able to love you.. I was busy destroying myself, I was on medication and your father and I were never really secure in one another. Truth is I had your eldest sister at a young age and the stress and tole of being mommy at 20 closed me off to the idea of having another child.. then along came you darling. I was selfish and still am, I felt that life owed me something.. that God did not love me enough to take care of me.. but I realize that He did. He tried to get me to conceive a child in order to know love but I did not know love. Everyday I am getting better, the grace of kind and gentle mother Mary carries me higher into the love of Jesus.. forgive your mommy please. I can only say this for now.