I was unmarried in 1969 when I became pregnant not even knowing who the father might be. I didn’t want my family to know so I went to my doctor who gave me a pill and a few days later, the baby came out in the toilet; I couldn’t even bare to look, but I will never forget the sound. My baby was aborted in a bar restroom which made it even worse. I was an unbeliever then, but still felt so guilty and I cried many times. I carried this burden until I asked my pastor after becoming a Christian if he thought I should tell my husband. He said yes. After telling him, he didn’t judge me which was such a relief. I have not told my children because I don’t want them to think less of me. I have wanted to speak out before, but that has kept me from it. I have volunteered with the CPC in the town we used to live, but my mobility is such I cannot do it anymore. I have asked Jesus to forgive me and I have forgiven myself as well. My husband, children and their family are all Christians. Women never forget whether they are believers or nonbelievers that day they make that decision to end life. The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy!