I Will Forever Love You, My Sweet Baby

Author: Anonymous

My Precious Little One, I can never, for as long as I breathe, be sorry enough for what I have done. Even after nearly 16 years, I still cry for you. Mommy remembers you, and I am deeply affected by what I have done- but my sweet child- you don’t have to forgive me. I would never deserve it. Know that you will always be my first baby, and you will never be forgotten. I was too young , too scared, too selfish and ill informed to measure the gravity of what I was about to do. I regretted it immediately, and it has affected my life in a number of negative ways (and I deserve it, this I know). None of this is excuse enough to condone my actions, and I would do anything to have you back! Sometimes I dream of being able to conceive of and carry you, again. Know that you are LOVED. Know I have named you, Michael Augustina, and you are close to my heart. Know that I wonder what you would have looked like and who you would have become. I will one day tell your siblings about you, and they will keep you in their hearts, as well. Know that I have begged at the foot of the cross and asked Jesus to forgive me for this most heinous act of selfishness. Know that I ask Jesus to kiss your sweet face for me as He rocks you in His arms, in perfect peace. The night before, we said goodbye to you through tear filled teenager eyes, not knowing what we were about to do. You were loved in the only way we knew how. And after that, I realized my life would never be the same, and I would always have a piece of my heart and soul missing. Someone is always missing- and that someone is YOU. Know that I have become adamantly pro-life- and I hope to one day help other young girls, in any way I can, and deter them from making the horrible decision I did. I will do it in memory of you, my sweet baby. Jesus is my only hope for salvation, and the only peace I can find in this. My love for you, my precious little one, will never end. You will always be mommy’s first baby, and I will not forget you. Just under 8 weeks of life, but your life still mattered. They wouldn’t allow me to see your image. They wouldn’t allow me to hear your heartbeat. But it echoes in my mind, somehow. You deserve to be loved, just like my living children. I thank God that you are in heaven, in peace with the Lord. I am completely and devastating sorry- it was never my choice to make, you deserved better. Mommy will remember. I love you, my sweet child, with all my heart. Love always, Mommy <3